This Heart

r0_0_1548_1032_w1200_h678_fmaxThings are brewing in Cinnamon Cricket land (read, temporarily stuck on the next bit) so I thought I’d throw some Charlie Cinnamon (CC) into the mix. Here’s how I felt yesterday when CC and I visited the Williamstown jetty:

Today, dear one, we went to the seaside and as I walked along the jetty and pointed out the boats, you cast your little net of wonder and love out over everything: the women who stopped to marvel at your chubby arms; the little boat that rocked in delight; the seagulls who quieted their chorus when we walked by; the Sea Shepherd nodding its hello; the old, grey timber that sighed in pleasure as we walked along; and my heart, oh this heart that expanded even further than I imagined possible. This heart that cracked open the minute I saw your wrinkled face, heard your cry, felt your tiny hands search for me. This heart that hurts now, from both love and fear.

Today you stared at the water with big eyes and reached up for crinkled leaves and my heart sang. Today you smiled at a man who needed it and it filled my heart with pride. Today you curled your hand around my fingers and my heart swelled even bigger, ever bigger.

You did this, dear one – gave me this elastic heart, showed me the world renewed, gave me back wonder. You did this – took my limbs and my ears and my eyes and returned them forever changed. You rewired my nerves, unzipped my skin, reconfigured my breath, and exploded my heart. And now it beats for two, this heart.



Filed under Baby, blogging, Family, Inspirational, IVF, Love, Melbourne, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Women/Feminist, Writing

7 responses to “This Heart

  1. Michelle

    Oh! that’s so beautiful xx


  2. CJ

    Beautifully written and exactly right, my darling.


  3. Dawn

    So very beautiful.


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