Kind of Glowy…

pregnant-runner-272x300My belly has popped, which would be cute, if you could actually see it under all the bloat that’s going on on top of it. Pregnancy so far has been less the splendiferousnesses of wonder and delight I thought it would be, and more about gas. A lot more about gas. Sure, I feel joyous – how could I could I not? It took six years, four years of IVF, two surgeries and lots of money to get here. Despite a midwife girlfriend telling me off recently for daring to ask if I could do something, anything, to make the bloat go away (how long have you tried to get here? You’re not allowed to feel miserable!), I do think I’m allowed to have the odd miserable feeling… You know, just those times when I’m so bloated I can’t breathe, none of my clothes fit and I’m only 14 weeks pregnant, I’ve slumped my head over the sink in anticipation of a surprise spew, and I’m so tired at work I actually fall asleep in a meeting with my boss who asks me if I need a pillow and I seriously consider saying yes. How do pregnant women with a toddler DO THIS and LIVE?!

I’ve had plenty of time to picture me pregnant. It looked something like this:

Garlands of flowers in my hair, walking through a sun-dappled field, then skipping home to both the time and intense bursts of creativity to write a best-selling novel in nine months, taking writing breaks to sip on freshly made vegetable juices as I lie my head on Hugh Grant’s lap on a park bench in a romantic garden, my belly looking adorable while the rest of me is skinny…. really skinny.

Well….. PFFFFT.

It’s been challenging to go from this vision to the reality of all-day morning sickness and tiredness so overwhelming just the thought of my best-selling novel sends me into a coma. I’ve stared at people I’ve worked with for more than two years and wondered what their names are. And Hugh Grant and my skinny ankles are absolutely no-where to be seen.

On top of that, my cat Marlowe is conspiring against me. I found this in his diary yesterday:

Dear Diary

I’m beginning to fear all is now lost. My Mistress wanders around in what looks like a daze of silly self-satisfaction and none of it has anything to do with me. Can you imagine? My attempts at making her morning sickness worse by breathing tuna breath in her face as soon as she wakes up isn’t working like I thought it would. It makes her gag, sure, but she still seems kind of… glowy.

Although… she did spew before lunch today and it happened because she was preparing a tuna wrap. Tuna. See? I waited about ten minutes and then spewed on my carpeted cat tree. Her stomach wasn’t quite settled yet and she’s a little funky getting cat vomit out of carpet at the best of times, so she had no hope really. My plan worked because she spewed cleaning up my spew. Not so glowy after that.

So what if my cat is conspiring against me? I am kinda glowy. Wait til he meets the new crying, pooping hairless cat in July – his furry little head’s going to explode.

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6 Comments

Filed under Baby, blogging, Cats, Family, Fiction, Friends, Health, Humour, IVF, Motherhood, My Book, Pregnancy, Women/Feminist, Writing

6 responses to “Kind of Glowy…

  1. Aw I am sorry that you are not feeling so glowy! I am 31 weeks and have had a great experience so far. Hopefully it gets better!

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  2. Dawn

    Brilliant synopsis of how you imagined it and the reality. Reminds me of ‘These are the best of times, the worst of times’. You have a great capability of making people laugh however trying the circumstances. Xx

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  3. Yep, that was me too, blithely thought “Oh, I have a cast iron stomach, nothing ever bothers it, Morning Sickness, Paaaa!” Spent the first three months feeling like I was about the throw up every minute from the moment I got up in the morning to the moment I went to bed at night. And TIRED…I actually DID curl up under my desk at work a few times, with a very wonderful workmate covering for me, “Christina, oh, she’s just popped out, I’m sure she won’t be long. I’ll let her know you wanted to see her.” My boobs decided to get a head start on my belly, clearly they thought it was a race to be the biggest, so I was about 7 months gone before belly overtook them! However…I DID feel the glow (after the first 3 months, there was NO glow before that!), I felt good, I felt happy (within reason, you’ll understand why, Simonne), it felt wonderful to be on that journey. And the amazing thing is, I’m still on it. My girls fill my life with love and laughter (and frustration and MESS), and make me feel happy just looking at them. All my best wishes and lots of hugs, Simonne, hang in there, it gets better! xxx

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