Triple Threat

I just wrote a long, rambling post and it didn’t save and I lost it! This is very frustrating. Herein lies the abridged version in bullet points (cue grumpy face):

  • I have an Arts Degree with a major in Theatre Arts. I graduated 18 years ago. I haven’t been on stage since. I was accepted into the London Drama School in 1996, but I couldn’t afford to go. I also got into a (amateur) musical in London, but couldn’t afford to attend rehearsals and do all my bar shifts to avoid starvation and most likely, death.
  • This got me musing about how people in the thee-ater survive between gigs.
  • I’ll leave you for a moment to imagine the witty and amusing musing I had going on in my lost, original version, which was considerable…
  • Amazing, huh?
  • The main reason I decided not to continue with the acting side of things in the theatre is because I wasn’t, you know, that good. I was good, sure. Pft, course. But I didn’t have that thing, that amazing thing that some people have that makes you weep for the talent pouring out of them. I didn’t have that and even as an egotistical, stubborn, insecure 18 year old, desperate for stardom, I knew to leave the people with that to it.
  • I adore talent. I adore it. It inspires me more than anything in the world. Not just creative talent either, any talent will get me goosebumping. But it is the creative talents that really get me going.
  • One of those people who have that thing is Melbourne actor, singer/songwriter Roderick Cairns.
  • Actually, in all my years connected to the theatre, reviewing for the theatre, and with all the friends I’ve made through uni and since, Rod is the only true triple threat I’ve think I’ve met.
  • This is partly because he’s actually a hepta-threat: he’s an amazing actor, his has a stunning singing voice, he composes beautiful, haunting music (although, not haunting exactly in this piece – this is explicit, you’ve now been sufficiently warned), he can dance, he plays many instruments, he’s an artist (as in fine art), and he can write.
  • I know, it’s hard not to be revoltingly jealous. How can one person ooze with so much talent for so many of the creative arts  (seriously, what’s left?) and still have enough connective tissue to hold it all in?
  • (Well, he is tall, but still.)
  • Of course, if it were me, I’d have the problem of which talent to focus on. I mean, how can Rod possibly find time for them all? He could at least give me one of these talents to look after…
  • Oh god, the jealousy is revolting, and not in a good, save the people kind of way. It’s time for a caffeine gin break.
  • (Grumpy face slowly being replaced by melty, happy face)
  • What I had intended on writing about before Rod took over my post, was actually the venom with which I am often judged for liking all the TV shows about singing and dancing. This includes, of course, all the terrible reality shows with annoying judges and the presenters who make you want to self-harm. I know the set-up and the rambling is annoying, but I can stand all that to bear witness to the TALENT. Oh how I love it so. The gems amongst the many who are ok, but don’t have that thing. The Roderick Cairns’ among the me’s, in other words. It’s thrilling to see those people shining in the pack.
  • Rod is likely self-harming right now at the very idea that I have connected him, even in this arbitrary way, to a reality TV talent show. Sorry Rod. Breathe. I’ll never do it again. I didn’t do it in my lost, original version, which was far more, you know, visionary.
  • Even my family, who are supposed to LOVE me, judge me harshly for my addiction.
  • Oh well. Whatever gives me goosebumps, right?
  • I was watching Smash last night and felt this little twinge; this little piece of me longing to stomp around ungracefully on the boards again.
  • Maybe one day…

Oh, and for anyone in Hobart tomorrow night, go and see this fabulous show, written and performed by another ridiculously talented thee-ater friend. It’s a late plug, but a plug is a plug, is a plug… I need more gin, it’s been a long afternoon.



Filed under Art, blogging, Family, Humour, Inspirational, Melbourne, Review, Theatre, Writing

11 responses to “Triple Threat

  1. Dear Simonne, dear, dear, theatreloving sister, Simonne!

    I and my sisters sang for anyone silly enough to have dinner at our house, for years and years. Natch, we all watch talent shows (though probably not the X-Factor, as far as I know). I particularly liked The Voice, corny as it was in places – and am compiling a list of ironic audition songs for it at present. So far I have
    Total Eclipse of the Heart (“TURN AROUND…”)
    and there was another really funny one, I’ll come back when I remember it. A BeeGees song, I think.


  2. Dawn

    You have much talent in many areas as Gavin said. A woman I barely knew left the Hayman saying incredulolusly “How can that 20 year old know what this 40 year old is feeling. How?” She was genuinely puzzled and upset.that you ‘knew’ her – and it’s happened to you before. A tormented woman asked you how you knew her story, Yvonne left Hayman saying “I’m getting a breast check” after one of your shows. You have an affect on people. I agree about Rod – I’ll never forget the ‘trees’ music he composed for one of your shows. He is brilliant – in many ways – and yes, that’s so unfair that one person has ALL that talent but don’t belittle yours! xx


    • Wasn’t meant to be about belittling my talent, but I guess I did, didn’t I?! I know I have some fab talents, it’s just that when it comes to acting I really don’t have that x factor thing 🙂


  3. Dawn

    Btw, this member of the family doesn’t judge you. I love those shows too and have watched many. I cannot believe the talent this year on XFactor and the stories. The Cowboy was an amazing story.I haven’t followed it much ‘down on the farm’ but I certainly don’t judge you for it. My fave show when you were young was ‘Fame’ and we all lined up every week and all loved it.


  4. *chuckle* I think Roddy DOES have trouble choosing between them, sometimes I think it’s a kind of curse, and life is too short to fit it all in! Of course, I agree though, he is super talented…most annoyingly so, being his big sister I had to grow up with him 😉 . I only wish he, and you, and so many of the other amazing people I studied theatre with, would get the recognition they deserve. Your writing at uni was stunning, I’m not surprised at all at Dawn’s comments. As for those talent shows, I like watching the first few episodes, when you get to see that amazing raw talent…it tends to go downhill for me after the ‘grooming’ by the experts starts. Oh, and Dawn, I loved ‘Fame’ as well. I saw the original movie at 14 and I have it on DVD too!


    • I have, over the years, wondered if it was a bit of a curse. How are you supposed to use all of them, get enjoyment and fulfilment from them, AND make money? Would be quite the challenge.
      Thank you re my writing. It’s matured so much since uni I often just cringe when I think of the stuff I did then, so it’s nice to hear that from you and Dawn.
      I’m the same with the talent shows. Love the first stuff and then lose interest. Except SYTYCD. That show is my heroin 🙂


  5. PG

    Wow, what high praise for Rodney! He sounds AMAZING and it’s gorgeous that you see all that in him and value it so much. I love the daggy talent shows too – I just DO!!!!! And there’s nothing wrong with that! I totally get the desperate need to be famous at 18 – I sooooo wanted to be famous, and now I know that fame (which I also loved in the 80s!!) won’t be via theatre or the stage (as sad as that is), but it’ll be by the legacy we leave after our time on this planet is over. So, based on that definition, Mon, I reckon you’re pretty bloody famous … us for now, the world at large in coming years….xoxoxo


  6. aaah, my other audition song was in fact The Voice. No??? I think it would be perrrrfect.


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