There are good surprises and there are bad surprises. Bad surprises include:
* Getting your first ever period while staying in a one room apartment with your entire family at the beach on day 1 of a 10 day holiday.
* The discovery of your first chin hair.
* The day you realise your pre-booked wedding hairdresser is a bogan surfy chic who has designs to turn you into her clone.
* You turn up to the interview for your dream job and the interviewer is the grade 4 school teacher who humiliated you in front of the entire class for being unable to spell surprise.
* You find out that performing as a dancer in a musical and getting your bellybutton pierced on the same day do not yield the results you expected.
* Your boyfriend turns up at your door at 11pm while you’re studying for an exam dressed in a Shakespearian costume and proceeds to recite (by heart) the entire first act of Romeo and Juliet.
* You learn at 13 that reading Stephen King by flashlight under the covers leads only to terrified insomnia.
* Your cat’s idea of a surprise gift does in no way match your own.
Good surprises are those that make the surpriser and the surprisee feel, well, surprised, but also happy and gooey inside. I surprised my sister last week by turning up at her 40th birthday celebrations unannounced to just the right amount of goo.
(This surprise was brought to you by the incomparable famous Aunt who decided flying me to Canberra was the best birthday present she could think of for my sister. I agreed.)
My plane touched down forty-five minutes before the party started. Incomparable picked me up and my Mum (who was also there as a surprise) and Incomparable’s partner met us outside the venue and proceeded to wrap me in an enormous ribbon and bow (too busy and giggly to get photographic evidence of that unfortunately). Mum, Incomparable and Mrs Incomparable went ahead into the restaurant and my sister got surprise #1 in the form of my Mum. Incomparable then smacked her hand to her forehead (I have no idea if she did this or not, but you have to love an imaginary forehead slap) and announced that she’d left her present in the car.
Can you guess what happened next? I bet you can’t. I walked in with Incomparable! I was the present! I knew you’d be surprised. Needless to say, my sister was most pleasantly surprised and unwrapped her amazingly lifelike present with gusto. And all was well with the world.