Sugar Hates Me

lemon-detox-diet1So, I’m detoxing. From what? – I image you asking, an incredulous look on your face, if not a slightly unnerved one from wondering why someone as pious and healthy as me would need a detox.

[Ahem] Moving on.

I drink maybe a glass of wine a week (some nights I have some every night, but it’s a mouthful and then I’ve had enough. Weird I know) and 2 coffees (good ones, mind) a day, so really what’s the big need for a detox? Girls, you may need to sit down for this, but…

Sugar hates me.

I know! [WAILS]

How can this BE? But I fear that it is. Be. That is. Sigh. I’m on a 3 week detox and am currently at day 5 and after 2 days of totally horrendous headaches, I’m starting to feel, well, clear-headed. Good God, not clear-headed, alert, vivacious, perspicacious, even? How will the world cope with an even wittier me than the me I am now? I know. It’s frightening. Someone call the Pentagon. But clear-headed I be. And I gotta tell you, it’s great!

Of course the unrelenting and voracious hunger isn’t quite so great, and as I’m currently snacking on the nubbin that was once my index finger, I do have some quiet concerns in this regard. Still. I’ll soldier on and let you know how I go over the next two and bit weeks.

I might be a tad quiet until after the weekend. I’ve been selected to attend a Master Class for progressive writers through Overland and it runs all day from Friday to Sunday. Will report back on Monday.

Happy eating.

Sigh.

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8 Comments

Filed under Beauty, Body-building, Bums, Detox, Exercise, Fiction, Flash fiction, Health, Humour, Overland, Reading, Short Stories, Submission, Weight Loss, Writing

8 responses to “Sugar Hates Me

  1. Enjoy the masterclass. Don’t worry, I will consume your share of toxins so they don’t go to waste.

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  2. I did that once. I agree. I was clear.
    Then I decided clear was no good. Cloudy was better.
    Better poems that way. ….have fun…kim

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  3. Hey, the master class sounds brilliant – I’ll look forward to reading all about it when you’re back.

    Yes, you do seem very virtuous and clean-living already, but I guess if the sugar hates you, the sugar hates you. I just keep trying to persuade it that it doesn’t mean the terrible things it says, and that really we’re meant for each other. And cheese. And wine. And coffee. Just one big over-stimulated, artery-choked family. We’re very happy together. Honest.

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  4. sandybarker

    Are you on one of those, ‘first you sh*t, then you sh*t some more, and when you think there can be no sh*t left, you sh*t again’ detoxes? Those feel great. Keep it up – or out – or whatever is the appropriate preposition.

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  5. Clear-headed…that’s good. Worth giving up sugar for.

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