I’m talking bums again…

bumsAlex has inspired some serious daydreaming today. About my bum, that is. Yes. I’m back on bums. Deal with it.

I am one of those rarest of women who think their bum is a bit of alright. Ok… maybe not quite the bum I have right this second, but the bum I had in 2007 was alright and that wasn’t that long ago. I might (and frequently do) complain about my height, my small breasts, my nose, my skin, my hair, my legs… shall I continue? But my bum? We get on ok, my bum and I. We’re mates.

When I was at uni I owned a pair of jeans I loved so much I would happily have been buried in them. They ended up in the bin, those jeans, but by god did I get my money’s worth out of them. I wore them so much that the knees and the backside were completely gone. And I was so confident in my little round behind that I nonchalantly wore a teenie tiny g-string under them and pretty much wore them every day. (The jeans – not the same undies – just to make that clear.) Not that I wasn’t aware of the attraction that my behind, you know, attracted, in those jeans. Oh. Yes. I was aware.

The thought of wearing a bottom-exposing garment now fills me with horror. But then, I guess I’m no longer 45kgs with a genetically freakish butt. I’m no longer 19 either. Perhaps that has something to do with it…

Of course, my derriΓ¨re underwent another transformation when I was 30 and decided that body-building might be a fun thing to do. (Curses on my damn naivety!) There’s not a lot of fun to be had in body-building, but I will say this – my butt looked a treat. It was back to its firm, round, 19 year old glory. I used to twirl around as fast as I could in front of the mirror, just to catch a glimpse of its gloriousness.

Of course, it’s 36 now. It belongs to a writer and has been gravely neglected. My Osteopath bemoans the strength in my infamous cheeks, and is forever trying to ‘switch them off’ so some of my other muscles can actually do something occasionally. Still, I think my relationship with my keister has been a rather healthy one, all things considered.

…I promise I’ll stop blogging about bums soon…



Filed under Beauty, Body-building, Bums, Exercise, Humour, Sex, Sexy bums, Weight Loss, Women/Feminist, Writing

19 responses to “I’m talking bums again…

  1. No need to stop, I say!


  2. Nic

    Just reading your piece on bums and it occured to me, I know the very jeans you reminise about – and the fine bum that was inside them!
    Such a pleasure to read.



  3. I’ve never loved my arse… although I do wish I appreciated it more when we were both a lot younger and firmer. I really didn’t understand that it was downhill – and oh boy, is it downhill – from there. I should’ve paid more attention. Been kinder. Sent round a compliment every now and again. But no.

    On the other hand, the jeans I have loved and lost… what did people wear, exactly, before denim? Actually, don’t answer that. I just don’t care.

    I’m happy for you and your bum, Simonne, I really am. Arse anxiety consumes a lot of time and energy, and it would be so sweet knowing your bum’s always got your back. As it were.


  4. He he, I don’t think I remember the actual pair of jeans, but I do remember the bum and the bum-envy it caused! πŸ˜‰ I’ve come to terms with my bum, though I never really hated it (maybe because I couldn’t see it?)…I had other things to obsess about, being a woman who always wanted small MANAGEABLE boobs (yes, it’s true)! At 43, and after 3 pregnancies, I’ve mostly come to terms with the rest of me, I actually think I like it better than I did when I was 19. And the other half still won’t leave me alone, so I can’t complain too much. I just hope I can seem comfortable enough in my own body to my girls, so they grow up feeling the same way, and don’t succumb (well, not too much) to the freakish images of ‘beauty’ we’re surrounded by. I’ll be happy with that.


    • Bum-envy eh? Sweet! πŸ˜‰

      The boobs thing is a whole other story (blog post), isn’t it? Oh how I wanted big ones when I was younger!

      You do seem comfortable in your own skin, Christina. You’re a very sexy 43 year old for that reason (not to mention the flaming hair, the beautiful skin, gorgeous face… the list goes on), and I have no doubt you’re a perfect role model for your girls. Art, love, magic, family; it all comes before beauty in your household, it’s obvious the minute you walk in. And it’s wonderful. It’s so there in your art, which is one of the reasons I’m so drawn to your work.


      • Are we talking about the SAME ‘me’ here?! πŸ˜‰ (Oh good, my carefully constructed image is working!). I suppose…if other people (well, some of them) see all that…maybe it’s really there, a bit. Hmmm, perhaps the true ‘self’ lies somewhere between how we see ourselves and how others see us…and is therefore completely unknowable! He he, oh dear…and I haven’t even started on the red wine yet!


  5. Hah, fantastic! Y’know Simonne, it makes me nigh-on shed a tear to know that the ghost of my jeans still lingers in some capacity, inspiring nostalgia of other tattered trousers and revealing displays of flesh!

    Gone, but not forgotten… *sniff* πŸ˜‰

    “My Osteopath bemoans the strength in my infamous cheeks, and is forever trying to ’switch them off’ so some of my other muscles can actually do something occasionally.”


    Brilliant. When arse-cheeks go wild! Hm, there’s definitely a porno/B-movie horror plot waiting to happen there!


  6. Kim


    nothing to add, but seriously love this post!


  7. Ah, congrats! How wonderful to love your bum. Personally, I’ve always been a boobs girl. They’re big, but not too big, and they sit just right. It’s good to claim happiness for body parts. x


  8. Do not stop blogging about booms plese, I like them a lot they are so sweet the figures you made, and they certainly have an interesting social implication due to the fact that they do not have a perfect body to be seen naked.
    Do pornographic paints, as my mom does (she only does naked, but I kid herself)


  9. mario

    they ar nice bums, but I cant do nathing


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