Into the Mons…

I’ve written about the Mons Pubis before. In fact if you google ‘mons pubis’ that post, written last year, comes up on the first page. There seems to be a lot of interest in that spoge of fleshy goodness that looms proud above a woman’s v-jj. (And yes, ‘spoge’ is the technical term). So what’s all the hoo-ha about?

It seems that many women think their spoge of mons is too fat – and they want it reduced. Lips, tits and eyes can all be bigger, but God Almighty, please, please shrink my fat spoge-o-mons.

So, what are these women doing? They’re getting them LIPOSUCTIONED and raised up. This is also known as a ‘pubic lift’ to counteract ‘pubic sag’.

God forbid we have pubic sag.

Imagine telling your hubby that:

Righto darling, I’m just popping off to the hospital for my pubic lift. I’ll be back round seven to pop the chicken in the oven.

Of course in lifting the spoge-o-pube, the clitoris can be more exposed, which might be helpful in said hubby actually locating it after he’s endulged in his chicken wings and glass of beer. Nothing like a whopping great scar and your mound as flat as a poppadom to get him in the mood…



Filed under Health, Humour, Sex, Women/Feminist

10 responses to “Into the Mons…

  1. Oh yeah, sign me up – right after my root canal. 😉


  2. Grace

    hahahaha Girl, you ROCK.

    And my Mons and Vajayjay are just fine the way they are, thank-you-very-much. It’s the mound of VENUS, for Godds sake, not the Desert of Sinai.


  3. I’ll take the root canal any day WC!

    Yes, Grace, that’s right! 🙂


  4. romi41

    Hahahaha….oh my gosh I frickin’ love you!! 🙂 …not only do I love visiting your blog to learn new terms (LOL, sorry “mons-pubis” is new for me 😉 ), but also to laugh at the ridiculousness of life that you highlight from time-to-time…but hey I guess we should all feel grateful that mother nature created “woman” as such a work-in-progress canvas…it means that there’s always potential for continuous improvement 😉


  5. Well dear Romi, I feel exactly the same about your blog! 🙂


  6. sandybarker

    I love my mons as it is. I want that on a bumper sticker. I love the plumpness, and as I age (39 soon), it is one of the parts of my body that is still plump and full (of life – hee hee).


  7. That’s a pretty good bumper sticker! I’m so glad you love your mons – that’s just how it should be, so good for you!
    (And I can’t believe you’re nearly 39, that’s ridiculous! Especially as you STILL look 25!!) xx


  8. Melana

    I live in South Beach in Miami, Florida, the cut-and-paste wonderland of plastic surgery. I remember reading about this in our weekly newspaper and being taken aback at the lengths some women will go to in search of something — anything — that will make them worth loving.

    We are the love we seek…


    So wise and true Melana.


  9. Yster

    I am a guy. My wife has what she calls ‘a big fanny bone’ . She is very self concious about it. I have tried my best to make her realize how sexy i think it looks. I find it such a turn on and wouldnt want to change it for anything. I found this website,while i was trying to do some research on this matter. Its interesting and encouraging to read the comments.


  10. A. T.

    I can see you point-of-view, really I can. However, you must not know what it is like to not be able to find a pair of pants that doesn’t give you camel toe, unless its 1 to 2 sizes larger than you actually should wear if it wasnt for this 5 lb. glob of fat between your legs. Even wearing a skirt you can see a huge mound poppping out. And constantly being itchy all lovely day long b/c your v-jj doenst get any air circulation. I guess till you have to deal with this I guess you’ll never see my point-of-view and desire to have it “suctioned and lifted”.


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