Okay people, it’s time to talk about bums again. Everyone can appreciate a good bum, right? Well, spring has sprung in Oz and I’m doing more PT sessions and bootcamps with people and more and more of them want better bums. And why not? It’s not too much to ask your trainer for a better bum, is it? I think not. But, herein lies the problem. There is a distinct possibility that your bum may not be working. Shocking, I know.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are thousands of people out there with bums that are indeed not functioning as they should be. I know. Horrifying.ย  But fear not you dimply-derriรจred despots, and take heed.

Most of the people I’ve encountered with rent rumps usually also suffer from tight hamstrings. And funnily, most of these people are office workers who sit for most of the day. What’s happening is that their hip flexors (at the front of the hip) are too tight (from sitting for prolonged periods) and so the Glute Medius (towards middle of your bum muscles) is weak and doesn’t fire properly when it’s actually needed. So because the glutes aren’t working properly, the muscles that are responsible for helping them out (the hamstrings predominantly) get tight. See?

So here’s a great exercise for strengthening the glutes, as well as the lower back. You lie on one side and bend your knees right up towards your chest. You leave your heels together and lift up the top knee. Do 20 lifts up and down at a steady pace. When you can do that fairly easily, do 20 of those and then 20 of the same movement in the same position, but with both legs held up just off the floor. When you can do all of that, progress to the same second stage movement, but when you’ve lifted the top knee up, then kick your leg from the knee out straight and then bend it back down again to the lower knee and repeat for 20. (Don’t forget to do the other leg!)


Regularly stretching the quads and hip flexors is going to assist the whole process. Have fun! Here’s to well-rounded rears everywhere…



Filed under Beauty, Health, Humour, Sex, Weight Loss, Writing

15 responses to “Bootylicious

  1. Thanks Simonne for coming out in support of bottoms everywhere. I may even try it!


  2. Doktor Holocaust

    ::cranks up an ominious, stormtroopers-on-the-march rendition of Sir Mix-a-lot’s “I like big butts”::

    Normally, I don’t worry that much about the Hindmost of Holocausts, as it still works like a dream in striking fear into the hearts of my fellow office workers (generally when the cafeteria serves chili or burritoes).

    I greatly appreciate the suggestions, though. it is good to know that, with a bit of discipline, my Weapon of Last Resort can be made even more powerful.


  3. V-

    My booty is holding it’s own for now. It’s my arms that have lost all of there tone. I’d love to see a post for some simple exercises to get rid of the flab.


  4. poseidonsmuse

    Apparently [or so I’ve been told], I’m filling the backside of my jeans rather nicely [for now]… As Fergie put it, I’m still trying to figure out what to do with “all that junk, all that junk inside [my] trunk…” When the Gluteus land masses decide to move south, I will take affirmative action…Thanks doll! xoxo


  5. I got tired just reading all this. Butt I have to say that I am blessed. Kelly has a fantastic Bum!


  6. Paul B.

    Doctor Doctor…! My Glute Medius is weak and not firing properly, what’ll I do?

    Take cover son and keep your head down.

    I never heard of a Glute before and when I googled it I ended it back here but i have to say I am highly intrigued and having done a visual check around the office, I will be sending a few of the girls your way.

    I just do quality control.


  7. Thanks for the reminder that my ass needs some attention! (It does, oh brother).


  8. Grace

    I like to remind myself that Bootiliciousness is in the eye of the B-holder.

    Amen and Amen.


  9. Help, I need more pictures!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ You do what to your left leg while your heels are still together? ๐Ÿ™‚
    I think I’m going to need a spotter…someone to get me unstuck……
    now that sounds like fun……
    Ha Ha.
    I’m kidding you, you know that.
    Great post chica.
    hope you’re well


  10. I guess I have an opposite problem – flatness and no meat. Being 92 pounds might have something to do with it butt still…

    Peace and weddings.

    ~ RS ~


  11. No probs Charlotte, give it a go! I did it 4 times yesterday with different clients and you should see my buns today! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Best of luck with your secret weapon DrH.
    V, I’m glad you’ve got back! I’ll post some excellent tricep exercises soon for ya!
    Muse, I wouldn’t doubt your bootyliciousness for a second girlfriend!!
    Sylvain, what can I say? You’re a lucky man ๐Ÿ™‚
    Paul, love your work.
    OB, I’m sure it doesn’t! But if it does, trust me that this exercise is a beauty!
    Grace, I hear ya sister!
    Kim, he he he he! Yes, a spotter might be the trick!
    Hey there teeny tiny Ruby, much love to you x


  12. Thank you for showing the world the way to better bums.


  13. This is one of the exercises I was given my a physiotherapist last year to help my lower back – I’m glad to see it has other uses too ๐Ÿ™‚


  14. this is a great one Simonne, you know yesterday I went to a spa during a one day rest. On the scale I saw that I have lost 8 kilo on the road to Santiago so far and now the body needs help!

    It will be fun to do this excercise in the dormitory, next to the guys that massage their feet! Are you going to put on more? I am watching now and again, not much though. Hug from Lectoure in France.


  15. Pingback: Writer’s Bum « into the quiet

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