CJ and I haven’t been apart since we got engaged and it feels strange not being with him. Much like having a leg amputated. Do you think that’s a tad dramatic? Possibly. I am an Aries mind you, and not without a decent amount of drama-queeness coursing through my veins. Still, I have this strange sense of having forgotten something so important that soon I might just whither away without it. I’m in Canberra for three days to see my gorgeous new nephew and CJ is at home working, designing wedding invitations, and pining. (Ok, I made up the pining bit, he’s probably just enjoying the quiet.) Anyway, missing him made me think of a love letter I wrote him a long time ago. A real, true, Hollywood sort of love letter I gave him to take on the plane when he went to the States for work for 3 weeks just after we got together. It fills me with such happiness thinking back to that time…
Guardian of my heart, Beautiful Heart, thank you for this precious gift of love that you have given me. I wanted to give you a gift to take away with you and all I could think of was words, words. Every time I see you and then I am here alone, these words of love and gratitude tumble through my head like falling leaves and lay, untidy and transient, waiting for me to scoop them up and place them lovingly together on the page before they float away, replaced by new ones. But when I try to gather them up, they slip through my fingers like rain, like silk… like magic. I can’t seem to fit the right words next to one another to paint the picture of my love for you.
I collected an armful of my leaves of love today and here’s how they fell:The Love Letter to Him Come into my heart, she said, and lie down. Lay your head on my imagination, your arms across my intellect, and your belly against my feelings. I won’t disturb you as you slumber in my thoughts and doze against my dreams. Come into my body, she said, and lie down. Lay your weariness on my breast, your intrigue against my neck, your laughter in my belly and your desire in my heart. Come into my mouth, she said, and lie down. I will fill you up with words of love. And so she spoke:
The rest may just well end up being our wedding vows, so you’ll just have to wait!