Butt-cheek Blowout


The fact that Kim nominated me for this award is quite the honour! Kim is a very talented writer. Please check out her stuff when you get a chance. Thanks Kim!

Funny thing is, I don’t feel so rockin’ right now! I ran a corporate bootcamp with a group of lawyers last night in Perth’s beautiful Kings Park and made them do a set of sprints. Now, I actually used to be a sprinter waaaaay back in high school – even won a few regional races if I recall – and still love the feeling of flying along, pushing your body as hard as it can possibly go. But I gotta tell ya, at 34, with my sprinting days long gone, I pulled up kinda sore. (Actually I’m starting to hobble like Quasimodo, my butt cheeks are now in a state of permanent semi-paralysis, and I seem to have acquired a mysterious case of foot-drop on the left side.) But as I am the bootcamp sergeant, I can hardly show any weakness, can I? Sigh. Perhaps next week I’ll just take my whistle and yell at them from the sidelines.

Still, you just can’t beat that feeling of flying past a few lawyers of the male variety and hearing their gasps of surprise as you take it home…

This girl’s still a’rockin! (I can no longer sit to pee as I’ve lost the ability to bend my legs… but that’s just temporary.)



Filed under Health, Humour, Weight Loss, Writing

19 responses to “Butt-cheek Blowout

  1. Dawn

    You go girl! Nothing like leaving a lawyer behind. I am sore too – the gym has a new torture chamber aka a stretching machine and I now realise I wasn’t stretching at all before they installed this wonder. I also did sit-ups on the ball. Maybe I should have eased slowly back into the gym after being away for weeks.


  2. LOL Just wait until those buttcheeks are 50 😀
    And way to stand up for the girls! Standing to pee gives ‘feminism’ a whole new vibe!


  3. Paul Baylay

    Excuuuuuuse me? I did have this elegant picture in my head which was more Audrey Hepburn than Paris Hilton which is slowly being shot down… anyways how did you get a bunch of lawyers to run to begin with? Oh there is a thousand jokes waiting in that question… 😉


  4. From my experience, people always seem to feel pain after dealing with lawyers.


  5. What Grace said. 50 is no time to be sprinting, believe me. I’m currently psyching myself up to restart the whole body makeover soon, so soreness is in the cards for me.


  6. poseidonsmuse

    Simonne! Sounds like you need some “blow-out” patches for your butt cheeks! I know the feeling – I was quite sore after a long hike up a mountain-side not too long ago. Lactic acid is a pain in the ass…Literally! Oh! And way to go – kicking those lawyer butts…


  7. chughes

    When i saw “Butt-cheek Blowout”, i truly howled with laughter.
    i think it’s great that you can smoke those guys on the track.


  8. Doktor Holocaust

    I thought a butt-cheek blowout referred to what happened after eating a lot of Pa Holocaust’s UN-Sanctioned Weapon-o-Mass-Destruction Chili.

    Still, trying to induce heart attacks in lawyers is a public service. you deserve a medal.


  9. Oh Simonne, you do rock, girl. As to the frozen butt cheeks and non bending legs – I feel your pain. Once I decided to weed whack my backyard because I hadn’t a lawn mower. My arms were stuck in the weed whack position for days after that. Driving and eating was quite the adventure.

    And no, never let the lawyers see your pain. Well done!


  10. Deb

    one time at band camp…no, actually, it was volleyball camp, and I remember having to fall half the way onto the toilet seat, because there was no “lower slowly” capabilities left in my muscles!

    Being *that* sore isn’t great, but I do actually like to feel some muscle soreness. It is like a drug!

    So good to hear you’re kicking some serious ass, regardless. (even your own!) Keep it up!


  11. Dawn – Easing back? Nah! Jump right in!
    Grace – But I don’t want 50 year old butt cheeks! hee!
    Paul – My dear, please don’t abondon that sophisticated image of me just yet!
    Anthony – Yep!
    Kiki – Thanks girl!
    OB – Good luck! Let me know if you need help 🙂
    Muse – A hike up a mountain side sounds wonderful! Thanks honey.
    Thanks Christine!
    Dr H – I think I’m way too lacking in medals myself…
    WC – That’s hilarious!
    Deb – Kicking my own butt like that is a tad embarrassing…


  12. Hey, be as glad you’re as in-shape as you are. My buttcheeks wouldn’t have lasted half as long as yours did.


  13. i spent an eternity dancing with a shovel last weekend and spent this week cursing every arm and shoulder movement. there was a time… heck, why even go there?

    i’m old, and still for an old fart, i rock… just not so hard or late.

    off to visit Kim.


  14. californiablogging

    Oh my gosh I needed that laugh! Oh that was great!
    Scared my kid but he’ll survive. LOL Congrats on the award, YAY! You Rock!!


  15. But Peace, you have youth on your side! Pick up your game hon! 😉
    Theo, keep on rockin’ old guy!
    CB – glad you had a chuckle!


  16. I think their gasps were more to do with the fabulous sprinters ass and the amazement that you could actually kick yourself in the butt and still run faster than them…. Hope you weren’t wearing your kinky heels at the time ?


  17. Warrior – Of course I was wearing my stilettos!!


  18. that explains the blow out so 😛


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