Mons Pubii

Sorry folks, it has to be done, the mons pubii post!

Yesterday I discovered that through browser searches, 15 people found me via plugging in ‘Mons pubis’ into a search engine, 2 from ‘waxed pubis’, 1 from ‘painful mons pubis’, 1 from ‘perfect pubis’, and 3 from ‘fat pubis’. I had one the other day that read ‘me skinny, mons pubis fat’.

What is the deal here? Why this fascination with the mons pubis? I’m surprised that that many people even know what it is, let alone google it! Clearly there’s an issue here and I have a sneaking suspicion it’s coming from women who feel that their mons pubis just isn’t up to snuff. So, in all my expertise about pubii, let me allay some fears…

The Mons Pubis – otherwise known as the round bit of flesh on top of the pubic bone – is supposed to be made up of fat. It’s okay to own one of these things, and to be quite honest, you’d look a little odd without one. In females, it’s sometimes called the mons veneris (mound of Venus – I like that – mound of Venus – much better than mons pubis – so from henceforth we shall call it Mound of Venus, MoV for short). The MoV is estrogen sensitive, so when puberty hits, Venus gets decidedly more roomy (plump, in other words).

Now, I’ve been a trainer long enough to know that some women do have a plumper MoV than others. And that some women hate that their MoV is generous and so they ask me for MoV exercises. Okay, let’s get this straight – the MoV is NOT a muscle, people, you can’t exercise it. I guess you could stick one of those vibrating belts on it and see what happens, but I’m guessing the results would be more orgasmic than weight reducing.

If you have a pudgy MoV, then you probably have pudge elsewhere. All this means is that general exercise and getting your caloric intake right will serve to take the voluptuousness out of the Venus. Please remember that you CANNOT spot reduce one area of body fat through diet and/or exercise. Doing a thousand sit-ups a day is not going to get rid of your muffin tops if that’s the only exercise you do and you’re still eating bikkies at morning tea.

We are supposed to have a mound of Venus, girls. Not a moor of Venus, or a flat of Venus, a mound, a mound! In this age, where boobs are getting bigger and everything else is getting smaller (the tits on sticks phenomenon), I guess it’s just a matter of time until the Mons Pubectomy (Venus Vanishment) is passe.

Sigh. I guess I’ll have a flood of teenage girls coming here now, asking what a pubectomy costs and where they can get one…

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44 Comments

Filed under Beauty, Health, Humour, Sex, Weight Loss, Women/Feminist

44 responses to “Mons Pubii

  1. Deb

    πŸ˜€

    Ah, Simonne, you were educational as well as hilarious! And I love the new shortened term, MoV. It makes me want to talk about it!

    Like

  2. Love the MoV! You know, I’ve never thought about it being fat or pudgy before. But now that you mention it…. No, really, I hope women today aren’t actually considering reducing the MoV – how silly would that be? And I really hope doctors would not consider it to be appropriate plastic surgery, although you never know what people will do for a buck these day.

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  3. Doktor Holocaust

    I imagine that the fad will push it towards being the Crater of Venus, people will realize the error of their ways, and the trend will swing back towards soft round bits all over rather than the current tits-on-sticks fad and we’ll see commercials like “Cheesecake: Keep your curves.”

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  4. V-

    I hadn’t given this one much thought until I watched a TV special about plastic surgery and saw this procedure. There were women on the show who had said their large MoV’s were ruining their lives. This was their chance at a new life. HuH? Perfect, another thing to be self conscience about. I must admit I fell into the trap. I immediately went up to the bathroom to check mine out in the mirror. Wow, it was fairly plump. Was this normal? Had my husband been quiet about the subject because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings? I asked quizzed him that night in bed. Was I hideous? How did I compare to the other women he had seen. Poor guy. He had no idea what I was talking about. He assured me I was beautiful, every part of me. πŸ™‚

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  5. What will us girlies obsess over next?
    It’s sad how women torture their vaginas.
    When will we as a gender learn that men love us AND our MOV’s. Unfortunately, until we learn to love them ourselves, we never experience the love that men actually feel towards our bodies and our vagigas :), simply because we don’t let them look at them or see them or anything. And for all those women, they are missing out. We are all wonderfully made, unique, and beautiful. We have always been our own worst critics. I sigh with you. k

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  6. Making people feel they NEED makeup or surgery or diet pills or whatever is all part of a capitalist system. It’s the job of the entrepreneurs and their marketing minions to convince us we need these things. It’s our job to use our brains and think for ourselves. Sigh.

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  7. Great post, Simmone. Thanks for being frank and so letting me be. I love my plumpish MoV and have never for one second considered that it might not be perfect. I think it’s tragic that people can waste time, money and self-esteem wanting to rearrange their fannies (UK fanny here, not US).

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  8. LOL πŸ™‚ Oh, this is one of the things I most miss about blogging on WordPress…seeing the search terms people used to find me.

    Say it Loud and say it Proud!

    We love our!
    We love our!
    We love our MoVs!

    (sung to the tune of “I Want My MTV”)

    Like

  9. Again, I’m speechless, commentless.

    But,

    Peace, love and understanding ~ even if some things are unfathomable.

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  10. D. Peace

    Those Google searches are looking for PICTURES, you know.

    They’re probably not interested in education, although your regular readers appreciate the discussion.

    My blog, as I mentioned before, still attracts more people searching for “paris hilton” and “buttcheeks” than for anything else. ONLY because someone mentioned it in a comment section once.

    Also, because you mentioned the word “labia” in a comment section of my blog, people have been coming to my blog looking for that.

    My only point is that any time you use a sex-related word anywhere in your post, people will show up looking for pics. Sad.

    At any rate, I loved your lesson, so thanks.

    For the record, I think the MoV is really fucking sexy. I had no idea that some women were trying to reduce the size of theirs… Christ, the anorexia fetishists must have really done a number on the psyches of women everywhere if young ladies now look at their special area and feel a need to lose some pube-weight. I guess if it looks like you’re smuggling a bowling ball under your pants, it would be one thing, but, as you said, that’s an obesity issue and not a MoV issue.

    The last sentence you wrote makes me sad, to be honest. I know you were semi-jesting, but the idea of women mutilating themselves and surgically altering their bodies for deviant fashion trends is depressing, especially when most of those fashion trends have nasty misogynistic undertones (starvation is good! having a round butt is bad!)

    Oh, well. You’re fighting the good fight. Keep it up. I love your blog and I always look forward to posts like this. πŸ™‚

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  11. poseidonsmuse

    Simonne – Great post! MoV…I’ll have to introduce that term to all of my girlfriends. They are sure to get a chuckle out of that.

    The “darker” side of your post had me thinking about the poor girls that *don’t* have a choice when it comes to genital alteration (cultural and traditional values over-rule the fashion and trend that is so much a luxury for Western women…).

    For the non-squeamish – see here:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_cutting

    Puts a little perspective on things, no?

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  12. Muse – Genital mutilation makes me so sad. What is so threatening about women’s pleasure that an entire culture feels the need to surgically eradicate it?
    And I think D Peace hit the nail on the head when he states: “most of those fashion trends have nasty misogynistic undertones (starvation is good! having a round butt is bad!)”

    When are women going to stop feeling so physically inadequate? It makes my heart so sad to see beautiful, talented, intelligent women who think they’re not good enough.

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  13. poseidonsmuse

    OB – I agree with you. One thing I truly enjoy about our community most – is our open-ness and honesty…I think posts/comments like this really help to put things in perspective…

    “Empower the Gods and Goddesses”

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  14. Hi Goddesses, I’m glad we’re adopting MoV πŸ™‚
    Dr H – I fully endorse your “Keep your curves” motto and encourage you to be its champion.
    V – I had no idea that this was actually a procedure being done!!!! OMG!
    Kiki – totally love what you’ve written, you are so, so right, and this is such a part of why I’m so passionate about this; to help the young young women and teenage girls see through the media, capitalist gumph.
    Grace, you’re adorable!
    Peace, I’m not sure that all the searches for this are people seeking pictures – there are far more graphic terms they could enter than ‘mons pubis’, and so many of them are clearly written by women – ie the “I’m skinny, mons pubis fat”. Thanks Peace, good comments.
    Muse, female circumcision reduces me to tears. I’m not surprised that you, beautiful heart, brought it up. Have you read ‘Desert Rain’?

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  15. Oh, now I am feeling left out. ….j/k

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  16. Red

    I loves my MoV.
    I don’t want to “spot reduce” my MoV *snickers* Spot reduce. That’s too much!

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  17. D. Peace

    Actually, the part Simonne wrote about the “pubectomy” reminded me of a clitorectomy.

    FGC is probably one of the most, if not THE most disgusting thing I can think of. The fact that it still exists is a testament to humanity’s capacity for barbarism, cruelty, and misogyny, not to mention another example of how those things are linked.

    That said, isn’t it also true that it’s only practiced in underdeveloped nations? I don’t think any developed nation has a preoccupation with genital mutilation (that I know of). I could be wrong…

    I don’t want to downplay its horror, just to mention the fact that it’s now rightfully seen as disgusting and barbaric by most of the civilized world, as far as I know.

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    • D. Peace (2 years late, I know):
      Most developed nations have a preoccupation with genital mutilation. What do you think circumcision is?

      (Yes, I know that circumcision may have some health benefits. It may well be a good idea. But it certainly is genital mutilation.)

      Like

  18. Doktor Holocaust

    Simmone: does this mean I can has cheezcake? I have curves in places where most guys don’t even HAVE places, and I fully endorse women to explore the full range of bipedal primate body-shapes and find the mutation that’s easiest for them to maintain.

    I think you might wanna get a better-looking guy to be the Keep Your Curves spokesman, though, some nice eye candy to really sell it to women who’ve been brainwashed into this obsession over a sparse selection of media-glorified bodyshapes. I vote Stephen Fry. He’s well-spoken, well-groomed, has eyes you can melt into, and has a not-often-seen-on-teevee bodyshape.

    Yes, I will indeed buy anything he endorses.

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  19. Kim, please don’t feel left out! I love having you around! How could I have missed YOU?! Thanks for sighing with me sister πŸ™‚
    Glad you’re content Red; go girl!
    Peace, yes, I think we are getting there with this one, but do seem to be stuck in the extremes still don’t we? – The whole damned whores and God’s police bit. SIGH/ Love having a thoughtful, young, male feminist among us by the way πŸ™‚
    Dr H, you’re too funny! I’ll drink to finding the mutation that’s easiest for us to maintain any day!!

    Well, folks, I’m off down south, doing wedding stuff for the weekend, feel free to chat among yourselves, talk about how generally fabulous I am, read the ‘from the book’ page if you haven’t already, or go visit the Goddesses!
    Sx

    Like

  20. Sx: Have a good trip! We’ll try to keep the house clean while you’re gone, but you know how Muse is with that dirty mind she’s got. (just kidding PM! you know we love ya).

    Like

  21. Pingback: When did I become an authority on Anthony Mundine? « CJWriter.Com

  22. Wow, some of the search terms people use are just bizarre… I have to agree with D. Peace, though. That some women feel that way about their bodies, hurt and alter themselves based on trends, is very distressing… good to see the goddesses are setting the best example! πŸ˜€

    Sorry about the trackback, btw. I forgot to turn it off.

    Like

  23. D. Peace

    Simonne – You mention that one of the big contributors to violent and oppressive misogyny is religious extremism.

    That’s a good point. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that many of the cultures that condone barbaric and inhumane treatment of women are also tied to draconian and fascistic religious beliefs (see Taliban, et al.)

    I think you should do a post about the relationship between religion and feminism. I’m not joking about that, I’d really love to read that post. πŸ™‚ Or did you already write a post about that before I started reading your blog? (sorry if I missed something)

    It’s interesting that many feminists find spirituality or a belief in a superlative power of some kind gives them strength, while I would argue that dogmatism has inflicted more damage to the causes of feminism and humanism than anything else in history.

    Dogmatism and spirituality are two different things, and I think your perception of religion depends on which of the two you associate religion with.

    Personally, I’m agnostic (I’m leaning more towards atheism as I get older). I have a hard time swallowing much of what I’ve been told and when I see Iranian women being stoned in public for not respecting Allah, or a teenage girl being kicked out of her home because her Jesus-fearing parents found out she was a lesbian in the United States, I just want to ditch the whole organized religion setup altogether.

    Did you know that Hinduism still facilitates arranged marriages? They’re not as strict about it as they used to be, but the fact that girls are still pressured to marry someone their parents pick is an anachronism. And there’s Catholicism. Fuck, what an ugly old boys’ club that is. That’s the grand-daddy of antiquated, patriarchal institutions we should have evolved past years ago.

    I’m rambling, but the point is: there’s a really strong link between a culture’s religious fanaticism and their propensity toward violence against women. THAT’S where a lot of the clit-mutilation that you were talking about earlier comes from.

    Just to mention it: I’m not against people who are religious or value religion as part of their lives. I’m against religious fanaticism and the things it does to people, women and otherwise.

    Have a great trip! Hope to see you back soon! πŸ™‚

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  24. Doktor Holocaust

    I’m religious and my religion is very sexist. a quick glance at even our cheapest of pamphlets shows that we’re very pro-sex, and the fine print in the Holy Books mentions that we recognize not just two but four sexes amongst humans (Man-Man, Woman-Woman, Man-Woman, and Drone, though I assert that man-woman should be split into two sexes, man-woman and woman-man).

    I imagine that’s not the kind of sexism you’re linking religion to, though.

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  25. Ah, more strange things people search for to find out blogs, eh? Genital cosmetic surgery kind of freaks me out since no-one has the perfect genitals because such a thing doesn’t exist. If anyone asks you where to get a mons pubectomy, give them a net-slap.

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  26. Doktor Holocaust

    genital surgery strikes me as equally freaky to genitals themselves, so I understand why people might want to modify their bits. Of course, my idea of “Modify” has nothing to do with making them more acceptable to anyone other than myself – I’d want a baculum and a couple prehensile tentacles down there, if i was getting anything modified.

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  27. Dr H, you’re freaky πŸ™‚
    Tanya – net-slap eh?! Righto!
    Thanks for such a thoughtful comment Peace. I might do a post like that soon, yes. You have to be so PC though! As for feminists being Spiritual, I’m not so sure about that. For me though, I have a very strong faith but join no religion and follow no set dogma. For me it’s not about swallowing what I’m told, as you put it, but believing what I see with my own eyes and feel with my own heart. It comes from a place of trust and love and took me some time to get there. I so agree with what you’re saying and will attempt that post soon!

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  28. Doktor Holocaust

    I just don’t see the point in letting people put sharp implements near my nether-bits unless I’m going to get something really cool out of it.

    and free cheesecake.

    Like

  29. HAA! Yes, well, who can go past free cheesecake? Especially if it’s chocolate…

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  30. er, allow me to butt in … as a guy… the mound of venus has got to be the most beautiful sensual part of a womans boday…Please don’t start changing it….just ask your man to give you a massage starting there and going whereever πŸ™‚ I think I will organise Men for Mound just to ensure Venus is for ever honoured. πŸ™‚

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  31. Warrior – you rock! Men for Mound is classic!

    Like

  32. I think it is alot easier saying “people should be comfotable with their bodies” if you do not have the same problem. For the ones who do have the problem, I give you credit.

    I have a larger mons pubis than normal and I really hate it. I have been considering surgery for a while but am still looking for an alternative.

    Its hard to wear a bikini when there is a large bump down there 😦 I dont want to look like a man.

    I love the rest of my body but I cant handle that part. I wish there was another way to get rid f it. I really do not want to do surgery, but if thats what i have to do to get rid of that “mound” then I will.

    If anyone knows another way please let me know and soon.

    Thanks πŸ™‚

    Like

  33. anotherhuman

    i have the same problem too.. if i wear bicycle pants or something a bit tight it doesnt look like a regular mound.it looks like i have b*lls. i think its because my pubic bone is high. and my MoV is really plump and fat, not like a usual mound. others often make fun of me, they say i’m actually a man, that i’m not normal, that i’m disgusting, etc. and when i walk in a bikini or swimsuit in the beach or the swimming pool, i can feel people staring DOWN,once, there was even a group of girls and some boys actually giggling about it. its really uncomfortable. it looks really round, fat and it protrudes outwards. and i’m not overweight AT ALL, but that section is damn fat.i’m 18 and im not sexually active, im embarassed. what do you think should be done? surgery’s my last option..

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  34. Dr D & anotherhuman – yes, it is easy for those of us without this problem to make light of it, so please forgive us of any insensitivity. A larger than normal mons pubis is usually because you’re carrying excess fat, so my first suggestion would be to consult a GP about whether or not there’s something not quite right hormonally causing excess fat in those sorts of areas. And of course if you’re that unhappy and you can’t see a way of loving who you are for who you are right now then have a consultation with a surgeon – the first consults are often free. Make sure you go to someone certified and make sure you ask a LOT of questions before you contemplate surgery. Good luck x

    Like

  35. John Dill Doe

    What is all this rubbish I keep hearing about the Mons Veneris/ Pubis?

    For women who have never figured it out and for men who have yet to experience sex with a woman who has a well developed MoV (love that term!) let me say from considerable experience that full penetration is improved beyond measure for a man when a women has a sizeable MoV.

    The feeling of hitting that cushion whilst being fully and deeply enclosed is a fantastic and highly erotic bottoming out or coming home experience for both partners and can lead to the best penetrative orgasm possible. I think that doctors should offer the opposite of liposuction and learn to pad that area out instead and all girls who are worried about the size of their MoV should be proud and they will soon learn that it is something to treasure and never to be ashamed of.

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  36. Worrying that the MoV is too fat is merely a symptom of the larger issue: I’ve been saying very emphatically for years that unless women fight back against this oppressive skinniness fad which is killing a thousand or more women and girls yearly, and psychologically harming tens of millions, the dieting and clothing and exercise equipment industries will continue indefinitely to harm self-esteem, and to exploit women and girls both economically and psychologically, but, even more, physically.

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  37. Thinker

    No posts since 12/09/1008. How sad.

    As a man, I really like a nice full mons pubis, or MoV as you have coined. In fact I just plain like women with curves! Maybe it comes from my love of driving. Straight roads? Who cares! Give me some curves! Now, fat is fat. Obesity is not healthy, or fun, but skinny is ridiculous, and also, no fun. Who wants to feel bones banging together? But ah, the ‘mons’. To touch, to caress, to nuzzle, to kiss. So wonderful. A women without a mons would be a sad thing indeed.

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  38. I google monspubis all the time trying to find photos of nice fat mons pubis. I am sexually fasinated with them. I love the looks of the protruding hump.

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  39. Cackling! Simonne, you’re on fire this week, girl. I think my MoV must feel very under-appreciated – I’ve never given it a moment’s thought before now. I must get better acquainted. Thanks for the, er, colourful introduction!

    Like

  40. g.w.brill

    Personally, I love a woman to have a larger than average pubic mound. I call it the love bumper. It’s a lot more comfortable to go hard and fast when you have a gal with that “shock-absorber”.

    Like

  41. Roger

    Great Article!
    Ladies, please be happy with your Mov, from a guys standpoint this is one of the most facinating things about a Woman! The plumper the better in this area because it highlights the “Cleft of Venus”. For Gods sake, dont get liposuction in this area, its what attracts us!! Only one request however, KEEP IT BALD!

    Like

  42. Lise

    As someone with a rather plump MoV, it’s hell growing up with it, but that’s only because you don’t see them in sexy magazines or anything of the like. Also, it’s NOT necessarily an obesity thing. There are many very skinny girls who have it. It actually has to do with the spine and pubic positioning, and less to do with your weight. I appreciate the article though.

    Oh and because it’s too tempting @Roger: Only if you do the same. haha

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  43. -J

    Hi, I have a MoV. It really annoys me, but I just ignore it. People say its genetic but my mum doesnt have a MoV or my sister. It’s really unfair and they always make fun of me. I didn’t think other people were like me until I searched it up. I thought it was caused by the car accident I was in. I got scarred on my right thigh, it scarred me on my pubis a little too. That’s why I thought it was caused by the car crash. I guess not…

    Like

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