Sorry folks, it has to be done, the mons pubii post!
Yesterday I discovered that through browser searches, 15 people found me via plugging in ‘Mons pubis’ into a search engine, 2 from ‘waxed pubis’, 1 from ‘painful mons pubis’, 1 from ‘perfect pubis’, and 3 from ‘fat pubis’. I had one the other day that read ‘me skinny, mons pubis fat’.
What is the deal here? Why this fascination with the mons pubis? I’m surprised that that many people even know what it is, let alone google it! Clearly there’s an issue here and I have a sneaking suspicion it’s coming from women who feel that their mons pubis just isn’t up to snuff. So, in all my expertise about pubii, let me allay some fears…
The Mons Pubis – otherwise known as the round bit of flesh on top of the pubic bone – is supposed to be made up of fat. It’s okay to own one of these things, and to be quite honest, you’d look a little odd without one. In females, it’s sometimes called the mons veneris (mound of Venus – I like that – mound of Venus – much better than mons pubis – so from henceforth we shall call it Mound of Venus, MoV for short). The MoV is estrogen sensitive, so when puberty hits, Venus gets decidedly more roomy (plump, in other words).
Now, I’ve been a trainer long enough to know that some women do have a plumper MoV than others. And that some women hate that their MoV is generous and so they ask me for MoV exercises. Okay, let’s get this straight – the MoV is NOT a muscle, people, you can’t exercise it. I guess you could stick one of those vibrating belts on it and see what happens, but I’m guessing the results would be more orgasmic than weight reducing.
If you have a pudgy MoV, then you probably have pudge elsewhere. All this means is that general exercise and getting your caloric intake right will serve to take the voluptuousness out of the Venus. Please remember that you CANNOT spot reduce one area of body fat through diet and/or exercise. Doing a thousand sit-ups a day is not going to get rid of your muffin tops if that’s the only exercise you do and you’re still eating bikkies at morning tea.
We are supposed to have a mound of Venus, girls. Not a moor of Venus, or a flat of Venus, a mound, a mound! In this age, where boobs are getting bigger and everything else is getting smaller (the tits on sticks phenomenon), I guess it’s just a matter of time until the Mons Pubectomy (Venus Vanishment) is passe.
Sigh. I guess I’ll have a flood of teenage girls coming here now, asking what a pubectomy costs and where they can get one…