My new cyber friend, Di, has inspired me to get personal. So I hereby advise you to avert your eyes post-haste if you have any disinclination to talk of ovaries, pee-sticks, and menstrual cycles.
I knew you’d stick around. It was the pee-sticks wasn’t it? Pee-sticks. Yup. PEE-sticks. It’s just one of those words you can’t help but want to stick around for.
So, CJ and I are trying to fall pregnant. Problem is I’m 36 and have POCS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), so the odds aren’t looking too crash hot. I’ve had all my hormones tested and apparently all is working well enough. Except that I only seem to be ovulating every second month, which gives us 6 chances a year, which…. is shit, really. On top of that, my cycles vary from 24 to 40+ days, so working out when I ovulate is a barrel of laughs.
I was explaining all this to The Baby Whisperer (TBW) in Canberra over the weekend. Yes. It’s true. I know an honest-to-goodness baby whisperer. Or, if there is only one, then yes, I know THE baby whisperer. She just so happens to be my Aunt. She charms the pants (nappies) off babies. You should see her go. Like the clappers. But. You know. Slow and cooey clappers.
So, I was telling TBW that we’ve bought the ovulation kits, but at $50 a pop and with only 7 PEE-sticks in each kit, with a 40 day cycle we’ve worked out we’re gonna need more than friggin’ 7 PEE-sticks per month. I mean, come on people, what about us FREAKS?!
Anyhoo, turns out TBW does more than, you know. Whisper. Because she up and funded my PEE-stick exigency!! What a champion for the cause! She deposited PEE-stick money in my account! Just because…. you know, she loves me, n’ all that. Jeez. It’s enough to make a hormonal gal cry. (It could, of course, be for purely selfish, baby whispering purposes – you know the more there are, the more a’charmin’ she can go – but a reason’s a reason, right?)
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My name is Simonne Michelle-Wells. I'm a writer from Melbourne (originally from WA). I have a background in theatre and write theatre reviews for Australian Stage Online. In my day job I'm a speech writer. I've had short fiction published in Cottonmouth, Beyond Words, Box Magazine, The Naked Eye and the inaugural Emerging Writers' Festival Reader. I was awarded a residency at Varuna in 2008 for my first novel, and was the recipient of the 2009 Ada Cambridge Prize for biographical short story writing. I am also the blog administrator for the Varuna Alumni writers' Blog.
22 Comments
June 23, 2009 at 9:38 am
oh – that is so wonderful of TBW. I’ll think of you every time I pee…..
June 24, 2009 at 4:31 am
He he, gee thanks… I think
June 23, 2009 at 11:38 am
Sounds like the Best. Aunt. Ever.
Go, you good things.
June 24, 2009 at 4:32 am
Yep, and good Aunts are hard to come by.
June 23, 2009 at 1:30 pm
What a great Aunt. And when you do fall pregnant, she will be such a great support – imagine having all that wisdom on tap!
June 24, 2009 at 4:32 am
Exactly!
June 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Just to give you a bit of a glimmer, Mon, but my wife has PCOS too and we conceived this year. She’s a couple of years younger but not many – so stay positive!!
x
T
June 24, 2009 at 4:33 am
Toby! Thanks for stopping by. And thank you so much for letting me know that. It really does help to hear of the success stories
June 24, 2009 at 1:10 am
Yes, good luck! The world needs more people like you. And congratulations on the Master Class thingy too!
June 24, 2009 at 4:33 am
Aw thanks!
And thanks re the Master Class
June 24, 2009 at 4:03 am
Best wishes to you both!! x
June 24, 2009 at 4:34 am
Thank you
x
June 24, 2009 at 6:18 am
Hey Simonne!
Good luck on the journey to motherhood (hubby says to make sure you ‘have fun trying’…men!). And don’t wory about being 36 either, I don’t have PCOS but I was older than you when I conceived my last one…you’ll be fine!
June 24, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Christina’s boyfriend pretty much took the words out of my mouth, heh. At least as a gender, we’re consistent
Best of the best of luck anyway Simonne, you know a lot more than I ever will about this, but keep on at it and I’m sure the magical moment will arrive!
For the record, I don’t think I’ve ever heard any words quite as unsexy as ‘pee stick’ o_O Makes my groin twitch, and not in a good way…
June 26, 2009 at 12:08 am
It’s always refreshing to hear from the boys! Thanks Alex and Richard, I’ll pass your message onto CJ!
Come now, Alex, pee-stick isn’t all that unsexy… is it?
June 24, 2009 at 5:00 pm
((( Simonne ))) it’s been awhile since I was around blogland much and look at what a wonderful post I find first out of the shoot! Girl, have faith! If there is a baby with your name on it, NOTHING will stop it from arriving. And I truly believe that there is! Sending you lots of hugs, and will ask that Baby be conceived SOON! xoxox
June 26, 2009 at 12:09 am
Grace!! How positively wonderful to see you! Thank you. What a gorgeous, affirming thing to say
xxx
June 25, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Goodluck Simonne, to you both! What a gem TBW is – can she small-boy whisper as well? And is she free for say, the next two years?
Looking forward to meeting you at the Overland Masterclass!!!I will be the devil’s advocate in the corner with a roll in my eyeballs and a smirk on my face…Paul tells me not to run riot too much, or I will apparently terrify you…
June 26, 2009 at 12:13 am
Maxine, TBW’s forte is small boys – she’s a Grandmother to several of them!
I’m looking forward to meeting you too
And I’m really looking forward to the Master Class. Run riot, I say! Roll those eyes… you don’t scare me!…ok, maybe a little…. 
June 28, 2009 at 1:14 am
Wow – great news – good on Ara and good luck trying!
July 15, 2009 at 10:07 pm
How did I miss this post?! Pee sticks ‘n’ all??!!
October 4, 2009 at 12:21 pm
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